I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS

This phenomenon must be happening to every couple in America. I can not believe ours is the only home experiencing this event. It seems to occur in a sporadic fashion or perhaps I have not yet unraveled the cycle.

I sit comfortably in our bedroom reading, maybe knitting or fretting with the internet. Scott is down stairs watching TV, playing with D&D or on his laptop.

It comes without warning. Scott ascends the stairs and enters our sleeping chamber with that look in his eye. I cover my face gathering what uncontaminated air I can. He comes over to chat with me but I am wise to him. I shove him away. He stares me down or worse ignores me.

And then, without warning, passes gas right there in front of me. He continues his trek as if nothing has "passed" between us. Doesn't he know how toxic the emissions are? Is he not familiar with our bathroom located ten feet away? And why didn't he just stay down stairs with the dogs? The fumes would not have reached the second story where I hide in fear. Lord have mercy.

Please tell me I am not the only person who is going through this harrowing adventure. Give me some words of encouragement or advice. I am begging you.

Then again, we are Roderick's.