Friday, September 16, 2011

OH NO

Oh yes. It happened again. It is freightening, to be sure, and I only share this as a cautionary tale. Restaurant bathrooms are safe for no one.

We were having dinner out and our girls had me laughing so violently that I had to excuse myself so that I could empty my full bladder.

As I hurried up the stairs I could feel the shift in the atmosphere. I opened the ladies room door and stepped in, checking underneath all the stalls to see what I was up against. One set of feet were revealed in one stall and I felt apprehensive but calm.

I chose my stall and entered. Restrooms, away from the privacy of my home, are a challenge to say the least. I can't imagine that a piece of tissue paper can protect my backside from anything so I always squat. I can not help myself. I have squatted for years due to my mother's diligent training.

What happened next I was totally not prepared for, although I had heard tales of horror. As I was squatting a small amount of toxic gas was released. I couldn't control it. It had a mind of it's own. Silent it was not. I swear I blew the lady off her tissue paper covered toilet.

I had to get out of that restroom before that woman exited her stall and saw what I looked like. It was embarrassing. I was breathless by the time I got back to the table.

Fortunately, the rest of the Roderick's were so wrapped up in their own stories they neglected to ask why I was flushed (pun intended).

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