SO, YOU WANT TO DATE A RODERICK

OK. We think we finally have it right. It has taken us several years of practice, trial and error, boyfriends, breakups and rule breaking. But it has been perfected and is effective immediately.

EXPECTATIONS FOR DATING OUR DAUGHTER(S)

1. We expect that you will bring her home exactly as she left with you or better. If you bring her home in tears, they had better be happy ones.

2. We expect you to come to the door to get her as well as walk her to the door when you bring her home.

3. We expect you to always put her safety and well being first and foremost. She is very valuable to us and she is our top priority.

4. We expect you to open and close car doors as well as other doors that will need opening during the time she spends with you.

5. We expect you to pull out every chair for her.

6. We expect you to treat her as a princess because that is exactly what she is to us.

7. We expect you to take her to places that would meet with our approval. She deserves respect at all times. Never embarrass her or us.

8. We expect you to take financial responsibility for your outing unless something else has been pre-arranged with her.

9. We expect you to respect the rules of our home while you are with our daughter, including no sex, no drugs, no drinking, PERIOD. This expectation may be altered when our daughter(s) turns 21 and will be in effect as long as she lives in our home.

10. We expect that you will attend one church service every weekend with our daughter. You and she may work out the details.

All right boys, bring it.